Define "chronic" masturbator.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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