I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
