Do you still have your period?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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