I'm drive I can fine osifer
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
