It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
