this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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