That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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