3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I came so hard my ears popped.
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