On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
