I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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