I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
