Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
