Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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