So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
