is your mom at the bar?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
