I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
