Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
