And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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