yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
