After last night, I could never be a politician.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
