i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
