the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
