I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
