i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
