it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
wow bdsm is so cute
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
