Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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