i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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