I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
