and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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