ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
