Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
