just come out here and I will go home with you...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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