I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
