he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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