After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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