My room smells like vodka and shame
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
