we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
