My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize