Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
