I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
