I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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