i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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