sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
