I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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