Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
