I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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