i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
