so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
