they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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