you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
