dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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