Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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