I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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