The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
