shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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