This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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