your parents love me but you hate me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
