Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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