that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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