i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize