Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize