Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
