He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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