just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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