Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
