so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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