there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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