Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
