was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we made out on top of his cat.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
